What happens to love after the wedding?
Like languages in linguistic, there are also 5 languages in love. If we cannot understand the love in other’s love language, we cannot communicate love.
Keeping the love tank full
We all have a love tank from our childhood.
Falling in love
It’s a illusion. The average in-love experience lasts two years.
The in-love experience is not our own growth. It’s a sense that we arrived.
Presently 40 percent of first marriages in this country end in divorce. Sixty percent of second marriages and 75 percent of third marriages end the same way.
Former generation often choose a life of misery with our spouse.
Love Language #1 WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.
Giving encouraging words to your partner, and encouraging him to find his interests.
Forgiveness is the language of love. If we cannot forgive, intimacy cannot be built.
Requests and demands are different, we can change our words. Threat hurts intimacy.
Verbal appreciation is very important.
Words are important!
Love Language #2 Quality Time
A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. But we need focused attention.
We can do something together. Quality conversation is also a quality time.
Marriage is a relationship. When your partner say some problems, sometimes she need you to hear, instead of solving problems.
When you are listening, don’t do other something else.
Sometimes Dead Sea (always listen) marries a Babbling Brook (always talk).
Quality activity: he may never become a symphony lover, but he can become proficient at loving her.
Think of an activity your spouse enjoys, but which brings little pleasure to you.
Love Language #3: Receiving Gifts
A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, 「Look, he was thinking of me,」 or, 「She remembered me.」
If he received your gifts, he can be your friend.
If you are a saver, perhaps you will understand that purchsing gifts for him is the best investment you can make.
Physical presence is also important. Your body is the symbol of your love.
The value is not the gift itself. It’s depend on the receiver.
Gifts are visual symbols of love. It can be purchased, found, or made.
Love Language #4: Acts of Service
Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
Mary and Mark both need the showing of love– doing something for each other.
Before marriage, we maybe in the in-love obsession. After marriage, There’s something we could not do. But you need to change for your partner.
If you demand something, you will break the flow of love.
Criticism sometimes indicates a plead for love.
Allowing oneself to be used or manipulated by another is not an act of love.
Love Language #5: Physical Touch
Ask your spouse where is comfortable, and what touches are irritating.